The Things Every Parent Should Know Before Their Child Turns Five

Growth is a pattern, not a number

In clinic, the question I am asked most often is whether a child is big enough or small enough. It is almost always the wrong question. A single measurement tells us very little; a curve tells us almost everything. A child who has tracked steadily along the same growth line for two years is usually doing exactly what their biology intends.

What draws attention is a change in direction - a child who has been climbing steadily and then flattens, or one who crosses several lines in a short period. That is a conversation to have with your own physician, and it is a conversation, not an emergency.

“Most of what worries parents at three in the morning is normal. The skill is knowing which part is not.”

Development is a sequence, not a schedule

Children acquire skills in a fairly reliable order: they steady the head before the trunk, the trunk before the legs, sounds before words, words before sentences. The order matters more than the calendar. Two healthy children can be six months apart on walking and both be entirely typical.

The signals worth raising early are loss of a skill a child previously had, no babbling or gesture by around twelve months, no single words by around eighteen months, or a persistent lack of interest in other people. Early conversations are cheap. Late ones are expensive.

Sleep is a skill you teach, not a switch you flip

Sleep is learned in the same way language is learned - through thousands of small, repeated, unremarkable exposures. A predictable wind-down, a consistent room, a consistent response at night. Families differ in how they do this and there is real cultural range in what is normal. What all successful approaches share is consistency for long enough to work.

Feeding: your job and their job

Parents decide what is offered, when and where. Children decide whether and how much. When those roles blur, mealtimes turn into negotiations that neither side wins. Offer a small amount of the same food repeatedly without commentary; most refusals soften after ten to fifteen calm exposures.

The quiet things that matter most

Reading aloud daily. Naming feelings out loud. Protecting outdoor time. Keeping screens out of bedrooms. Staying up to date with your regional immunisation schedule. Fitting car seats properly. None of these are dramatic. All of them, repeated over five years, do more than any single intervention I can offer in a clinic room.